“After deciphering my work and ‘mum life’ scenario, I felt confident about returning to work.”
“I was excited to start a new job, and after dropping my youngest off at nursery and seeing how happy he was, I felt the most extraordinary mental release.”
“As I had my first coffee alone, preparing to sit down to work and tackle the day, I felt free and in control.”
“It was so lovely to plan and plot in some meetings while slotting in elements of self-care. I could now book fitness classes before work and even have a pedi before pick-ups. I was so excited to get a slice of my old life back.”

“And then my phone rang…”

“Was the solution that we pulled them out of the nursery, and I quit my job? Maybe I’d gone back to work too soon. Perhaps they were too small? Maybe they needed to be with a nanny instead of in the nursery. But how would I make that work? I always said I wanted them to socialise in childcare rather than being with one person as I would feel like they would be replacing me. But maybe I was wrong? And then I saw this Instagram post about a woman who went through the same thing. It made me realise it wasn’t the childcare that needed to change; it was me.”

Mix up your childcare options

“To widen their options, some parents use nursery a few days a week, and then they have a nanny on the other days. We decided against it as it seemed like another thing I’d have to manage but I have often thought it would be handy to have another person to call when I’m really stuck. It can be helpful to have lots of childcare options in case things don’t go to plan.
Obviously if your children are sick they need to be looked after at home but having extra options can be helpful, especially if you’re ill yourself, if can’t get to the nursery to pick up, or if you’re back-pedalling and need to ask for extra help.”

Get outside

“If the kids are off school and you can’t work, take the opportunity to slow down. Enjoy the cuddles, forget the housework and your external stresses and focus on what’s important (*which is getting you and your family healthy again). Whenever the kids are off sick, if it is possible (and they’re not vomming) I bundle them up in the double pram and head out for a walk. The fresh air does wonders for my mood and it lifts them too.”

Rework your self-care

“If you’ve had to cancel appointments and the concept of glossy blow-dried hair seems like a dream. Then get in that shower! Treat yourself to a new body wash, a face mask, some new loungewear or anything that you can enjoy at home that will make you feel good while you’re stuck there. Get to bed earlier, drink herbal tea and practice a slower pace of life where you’re looking after yourself. Book an at home massage or a treatment at the weekend when your partner is home to take the kids. Maybe even book one for them too. Whatever works – just do it! You’ll feel so much better.”

Speak to your work

“You’re certainly not the first parent to encounter going back to work when you have a small child. So speak to your company and get their advice. Find out what the protocol is for dealing with situations like this. Hopefully they’ll be understanding and they’ll help you but if they’re not then don’t be afraid to read up on your rights. The days you’re allowed off will depend on your contract but the Citizens Advice Bureau also states: “You can take up to 18 weeks’ unpaid leave before your child is five. The Gov UK website recommends checking the details of your employment contract, your company handbook or the intranet site to get clued up on their individual policy. And remember BOTH parents are allowed time off to look after their children.”

Share the organisation of what going back to work looks like

“Instead of waiting to speak to your partner when the shit hits the fan. Do it before you return to work. Have a few plans in place and decide how things might work together. You might have already done this but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it again. If you share the mental load in the beginning it should mean that if things need to be shifted and rejigged you’ll both feel responsible about managing it.”

Be kind to yourself

“It’s common to feel like you’re trying and failing at everything. But it’s important to be kind to yourself in these moments and slow down. Take things as they come, minute by minute. And try not to think too much about what’s going to happen and be kind to yourself. You can only do so much.”