Coping With Baby Blues & Post Natal Depression

The physical and hormonal changes that our body experiences during pregnancy, birth and beyond, are vast. And if you’re ever feeling overwhelmed by emotion it’s important to remember that you’ve been through a lot. And, you’re a bloody hero!

Is it Normal to Feel Low After Birth?

The feeling you get when your new little fam returns home from hospital, is just the best. If we could bottle and sell those ‘oh-so grateful’ emotions, we’d be bloody loaded. But it’s also a bit like a giant wave has hit you *and then maybe a bus. And with that, comes a rollercoaster ride of emotions that it is entirely normal to experience. 

What Are Baby Blues?

Having a baby can offset a whole range of emotions such as euphoria, excitement, and a deep abiding love for the life you’ve carried into the world. But it can also trigger negative emotions. Baby blues is a common feeling that most mothers feel. The term refers to feelings of sadness and you can feel weepy, be irritable towards your partner and loved ones, and even disconnected from the world around you. Medical experts state that baby blues usually occurs during the first week of pregnancy and is often confusing for women because the expectation is that we should feel jubilant and contented after having a baby.

What is Matrescence?

Alexandra Sacks, M.D. is widely recognized as the leading clinical expert on matrescence: the developmental transition into motherhood. And in this video she explains the change women feel as they become a mother. The way she explains the change we go through and the emotions we feel is so succinct and well worth a watch.

Watch it here…

What Does Postnatal Depression Feel Like?

Many conflate baby blues with postnatal depression because the symptoms can be quite similar, but they are in fact two separate conditions. Women tend to experience postnatal depression 2-8 weeks after giving birth. And while baby blues symptoms don’t usually stop you from functioning and living your day-to-day life, postnatal depression can be debilitating and may even require medical intervention and treatment in more severe cases. Dr Carla Runchman is a Clinical Psychologist who also writes about the psychology of motherhood on her blog Mama Diary. Speaking to The Mum Club, she says, “Whilst ‘baby blues’ in the first few days is normal, persistent low mood is not. This can look different for different people, but might typically include, feelings of hopelessness, struggling to feel connected with your baby, loss of appetite or eating more than normal, or feeling anxious or experiencing panic attacks. These are some of the most common signs of postnatal depression, but there are many complex factors that influence our mental health. One size does not fit all, and you are the expert on you.” If you’re currently feeling any of these symptoms, it’s crucial that you open up about it to your partner or a friend/relative, although we recognise that it isn’t always easy to do so when you are in the thick it. Acknowledging that you’re finding life after baby challenging is so difficult, but once you allow those thoughts and feelings to be expressed, you are on your way to getting better and getting the help and support you need. Get in touch with your health visitor, who will be well equipped to recognise the signs of postnatal depression and will be able to provide assistance. It’s also important to make an appointment with your GP so they can make an accurate assessment based on your symptoms. Treatments for postnatal depression include counselling or prescribed anti-depressants in some cases.

Other People You Can Talk to…

You might not feel comfortable speaking to a GP, Health Visitor or a family or friend. And often speaking to someone on the phone feels easier. That’s why PND awareness support group PANDAS has a free helpline that you can call.
0808 1961 776

Find out more

How You Can Help Your Mental Health

Serious cases of postnatal depression are best handled professionally, but there are some things you can incorporate into your daily life that benefit your mental state of mind.

Get Out of the House

This is such an overlooked tip, but it’s so super important that you get out as often as you can when you have a baby. We know it can often take such a huge effort to get up, get dressed as well as get baby fed, dressed and watered (especially during the midst of the sleepless night’s stage), but trust us – the pros certainly outweigh the cons. Fresh air and daylight are awesome mood boosters. They release serotonin that stabilises your mood and ignite feelings of happiness and contentment. Similarly, walking is also beneficial to your well-being. It improves your sleep quality, elevates your mood, and reduces stress and anxiety.

Delegate tasks

With so much pressure from society to be perfect mums we take it upon ourselves to do everything around the house when we’ve just had a baby. From cooking organic meals, ensuring the house is spotless at all times, to catering to baby’s every whim – it’s no wonder that we’re often left feeling exhausted and deflated. Dr Carla explains why delegation is fundamental, stating: “You must ensure your basic needs are being met. Can someone look after the baby while you have a shower, take a nap or eat some delicious, nourishing food? These very simple acts of self-care can make all the difference to how you feel in the early, chaotic days after giving birth.”

Join Your Nearest The Mum Club
Join Your Nearest The Mum Club

It often goes unsaid how terribly lonely those early months can be after giving birth. After the fun and excitement of friends and relatives popping round to meet your newborn quietens down, and your partner goes back to work after paternity leave – it’s often just you and baby. And of course, you adore your little Bubba to bits, that goes without saying, but the absence of day-to-day interaction with adults can be difficult to deal with. Joining a mother and baby group is an incredible way to meet and connect with women who are experiencing the exact same thing you are – the good, the bad and everything in between. Ensure you are signed up to our newsletter so you can be notified of upcoming events. And if we’re not in your area – we will be soon!

Find out more
Minimise Social Media Activity

While it can definitely be a force for good and connect us with like-minded individuals, endless hours of scrolling can indeed contribute to negative emotions such as social status anxiety, FOMO, unrealistic life expectations, anxiety, and depression. So keep your social media usage to a minimum.

Get. Some. Sleep. *When You Can

We can imagine the eye roll at this heading, but we’re going to say it anyway: quality sleep is essential to your wellbeing. Yes, we know when the baby sleeps it gives you the perfect opportunity to catch up on the washing, house chores, the latest episode of Sex Education. But please try and sleep. There are so many awesome physical and mental health benefits from sleeping. It moderates your stress levels, energises you, reduces inflammation, improves your concentration, and detoxifies your brain!

Talk, Then Talk Some More.

We can’t emphasise enough how important it is to talk to someone if you’re feeling low. Even if you feel it’s of little importance because your sadness only feels fleeting and surface-level – talk anyway. Most of us have experienced mental health challenges related to pregnancy and childbirth, and it’s high time we start normalising that.

Read Next…

Hey, It’s Ok… To Feel Low After Birth
Hey, It’s Ok… To Feel Low After Birth

While we can’t physically come round your house and hug you. We can give you a list of things that might boost your mood when you’re feeling a bit low. Print this it out and put it on your fridge, stat.

Read Next

Reviewed By Us: Graco Myavo Stroller

Reviewed By: Lucy Moore Mum to 2 year old Rupert

Pro IconPros

It fully reclines, which is ideal for naps on the go.

One-handed fold, which makes it easy to put up/down.

Super lightweight

Value for money

Con IconCons

It isn’t aeroplane cabin size compliant, so you can’t take it on the plane as hand luggage.

Not that much cushioning in the seat for the child.

The padded straps can easily fall off the seatbelt, so make sure you click it back, even when the child isn’t in it.

Overall thoughts

I needed a pram that wasn’t bulky and that we could use for travelling. This pram is SO light, and even if my son wants to be carried, I can manage both – if needs be! It fully reclines, which is so handy for nap times on the go. *A lot of other travel prams don’t do this.

What is it? And how do you use it?
What is it? And how do you use it?

We use this travel pram for out and about locally as well as trips. It’s so much easier to chuck in the boot and whizz around the shops than our big pram, which has almost become redundant.

Was it good value?

Compared to other one-handed collapsible travel prams, this is such good value for money.

Would you recommend it?

I’d recommend this product for someone who wants an easy, lightweight pram for everyday use and travelling.  

Product specs;

– Cost: AED 749
– Suitable from birth to approx. 4 years (0-22kg)
– Weight: 5.8 kg
– Automatic, stand-alone fold
– Integrated folding lock to keep stroller packed neatly away
– Bumper bar acts as a convenient carry handle
– Removable bumper bar for quick ins and outs
– Large, easy-access storage basket
– Suitable from birth with lie-flat recline
– Multi-position recline ensures your child is comfortable
– Knit canopy with UPF 50+ , which provides adjustable amounts of shade and protection
– Adjustable 3- or 5-point harness – One-step brake
– Includes raincover and harness covers

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Reviewed By Us: iCandy MiChair

Reviewed By: TMC Reader Jessica Issit

Pro IconPros

It lasts from newborn to six years (rocker to highchair to seat).

It has multiple features like the toy bars.

Great supportive cushion.

Very aesthetically pleasing.

Con IconCons

Not the quickest to build

Overall thoughts

I love this highchair. It’s so sturdy, feels very secure, and supports my son well. It blends into the home and is the perfect height to place at our dining table. Unlike other highchairs, it doesn’t sit in the middle of the kitchen getting in the way. It also comes with a 10-year warranty, which I think is incredible and really makes you trust the brand. Parenting can become extremely expensive, so knowing that we have made that investment which will see us through our son’s childhood is great.

Was it good value?
Was it good value?

It is an expensive addition, but if you were to break down the costs of purchasing a highchair, a rocker and a young child’s chair, as well as the added features like the toy bar, it suddenly seems very affordable. Especially when you consider that it is so stylish, and all the components look great in the home.

Would you recommend it?
Would you recommend it?

Yes, I would. It is one timeless item that grows with your child throughout the years. So you don’t have to think about the next purchase for each stage. It is sturdy and secure as well as stylish and discreet—10/10 from me.

Product specs:

-H87 x w60 x d56,5Cm
-Weight 6,6Kg
-A blend of natural materials and soft fabrics.
-The Newborn Pod features two lockable height positions and has a detachable toy bar. It can be used as either a rocker on the floor or docked onto the MiChair.
-The MiChair is complete with a highchair, removable tray, T-bar, one-touch buckle harness and adjustable footrest.
-The MiChair transforms into a toddler chair by simply removing the T-bar.

Buy Now

Reviewed By Us: Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep Day & Night Machine

Reviewed By: Andi Venardos, Mother to 5 month old Achi.

Pro IconPros

Makes a bottle in 2 minutes at the perfect temperature

Easy to clean

Antibacterial filter that lasts 3 months & the machine tells you when you need to change it

Digital display that lights up at night

Con IconCons

You can only make a minimum of 4oz or 120ml (wasted milk in the early days)

If you make an error while selecting feed size, your only option is to switch the machine off from the mains and start again

Overall thoughts

Two words: GAME CHANGER. I had to start topping up my breastfeeding feeds with formula as I wasn’t producing enough milk for my son. This machine has been a lifesaver. It prepares a bottle in 2 minutes at the perfect temperature. I would recommend it to any new parents. This honestly makes life so much easier. The only downside is that the smallest bottle it makes is 4 oz – so a lot of wasted milk, especially in the early days.

What is it? And how do we use it?

This is a great concept and is like an espresso machine for formula. No more waiting for kettles to boil and cool down. Just add your formula to the bottle and follow the clear step-by-step instructions on the screen, which is invaluable when tiredness during night feeds takes over. So easy to use and means that partners and even friends and family can help out with feeds.

Was it good value?
Was it good value?

It’s a great price point considering how often it’s used. Two minutes to make a perfect bottle definitely beats the kettle method at 3 am. And I think it’s good value for money.

Would you recommend it?
Would you recommend it?

Absolutely, I simply can’t imagine life without it. It’s so quick and simple to use, especially in the middle of the night. It’s made our life so much better.

Product specs:

– Energy Efficient
– Antibacterial Filter
– 2 year warranty
– 3 colour ways
– Dimensions 21.6 x 30.6 x 33 cm
– Weight 2.2 Kilograms

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Reviewed By Us: Britax ADVANSAFIX i-SIZE Car Seat

Reviewed By: TMC Editor Lydia House

Pro IconPros

Installation is easy

Suit 15 months to 12 years

Study and well made

Fabric covers made from 100% recycled PET plastic bottles.

Easy and safe click in and comfortable for child

Con IconCons

It’s fairly expensive

“It was remarkably easy to install”

Overall thoughts

This is a brilliant car seat that’s incredibly easy to install. We needed a new car seat for my 18-month-old son, and we were sent this to try. We’d already purchased another brand for our 3-year-old, so it was interesting to see how this compared. The installation was so much easier, and I needed zero help, which was a surprise as I’ll be honest, I’m not the best at this kind of thing. The instructions can be found via the QR code on its tag, which I liked as it minimises the seat’s packaging. Its design makes clicking in a doddle, and I feel reassured that my son is safe and secure as it is much sturdier than our other seat. You can tell it’s incredibly well made and built to last – which is handy, seeing as you can use it up to a whopping 12 years old!

Was it good value?
Was it good value?

It is an expensive addition, but considering it seats up to 12 years old, it’s pretty good value. The inserts also come off really easily and are simple to put back on. One quick wash in the machine and it looks brand new. Our other seat has cushion pads that are already falling apart and it may have been £60/80 cheaper but you can see why.

Would you recommend it?
Would you recommend it?

Yes, I would. I like that it comes in lots of colours. We just went for a basic black but it has a cool green trim and it looks really smart in our car. It’s easy to install as I already mentioned and my son goes in with ease and click in is simple.

Product specs:

Dimensions: H60 – W83 x D44 x 47 cm
Weight: 11 kg
Forward facing installation: 76 – 150 cm

Buy now

*All products on this page have been selected by our editorial team, however, we may make a commission on some products.

Reviewed By Us:

Reviewed by Andi Venardos

Pro IconPros

Well made with spare parts

Easy to assemble/dissemble

Great value for money

Great customer service

Con IconCons

Maximum strength is 232mmHG

Overall thoughts

This is such a great product! The way the pump is designed allows me to do things while pumping without worrying about leaks. It’s comfortable, discreet and easy to clean. The battery lasts a long time, and I can go several sessions without recharging it. From packaging to product, everything has been so well thought out.

What is it? And how do you use it?

It is a hands-free and discreet breast pump that you place inside your bra to collect your milk. It comes with different-sized breast shields, so that once you’ve found the one that suits, you simply place the machine in your bra, align it with your nipple, and press go. The pump automatically turns off after 30 minutes, or you can just stop it manually when you have enough milk.

Was it good value?
Was it good value?

Yes, I think it’s incredible value for money. Initially, I was sceptical as it was a brand I’d never heard of, and the price point was lower than its competitors. However, I’m so glad I supported a small UK business and purchased this. It’s a dream to use and comes with so many handy accessories like the 150ml BPA-free bottle and lids, different sizes of breast shield adaptors, nursing-bra adjusters, spare seal rings, spare valves, spare diaphragms, a USB charging cable, a bottle brush and even a free cotton carry bag.

Would you recommend it?

Most definitely, and I have already to all my friends on the breastfeeding/expressing journey.

Product Specs

– Free Wren Tote Bag
– Leakproof
– 2-hour battery life
– BPA-free plastic
– No wires
– Charge with USB-C (cables provided)
– Comes with three size flanges: 17mm, 21mm & 25mm
– Spare valve
– Spare diaphragm
– Nursing bra adjuster
– Spare 150ml BPA-free bottle and lid
– Bottle brush
– Spare seal rings
– Less than 50 decibels
– Available in white or green
– Wren’s customer service team are always on hand to help you out with questions and set up

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TMC Recipe of the Week: Salted Dark chocolate Date Bark

Ingredients

• 20 Medjool dates, pitted

• 1/2 cup Peanuts, Raw

• 1/3 cup Peanut butter, Creamy

• 1 1/2 cups Chocolate chips

• 1 Pinch Salt, Flaky

• 1 tsp Coconut oil

Method

1. To make this bark, start by preparing the dates: slice the dates open and remove the pits. Then, smash them down and line them up on a parchment-lined baking sheet.

2. Next, spray a drinking glass with oil (I used coconut oil) and use the bottom of the glass to press the dates down and flatten them.

3. Then, use a spoon to drizzle the peanut butter over the dates, and top with the crushed peanuts.

4. Set the tray aside and add the chocolate chips and coconut oil to a small bowl.

5. Melt the chocolate by placing the bowl into the microwave and heating it in 2-3, 30 second increments, being sure to stir in-between.

5. Then, pour the melted chocolate on top of the date and peanut mixture, then refrigerate for one hour or freeze for 35 minutes, until the chocolate is set.

6. Once done, sprinkle with flaky salt, break apart, and enjoy! Store any leftovers in an airtight container, in the fridge, for up to one week.

Watch how to make it…

Mum Guilt: Why We Need To Let it Go!

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

You are NOT the same as your best mate, sister, or mum. Your life is different. YOU are different. Stop comparing what you do against what they do. Where they’re excelling, you might struggle, but we bet they envy some of the parental practices you deploy. Parent how you want to parent, and we bet the way that looks is just great. 

You’re Gonna Feel It No Matter What You Do

Even if you’re Mary Freakin’ Poppins, you will feel guilt. SAHM, working Mum, solo mum, leave me alone mum, play all day mum. YOU WILL FEEL GUILT. You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t. Like water to a flame, you’re just giving it the fire it wants. So go easy on yourself and give yourself a break.

Kids Are Happy Doing Very Little

You don’t need to be an all-singing, all-dancing kiddie centre tour guide. One of the best things about young children is that they love discovering the simple things in life. Be it the garden centre, the weekly shop or popping to the local park. Keep it simple. There’s plenty of time for adventures in Peppa Pig world and such. Right now, they’re just happy being around you. 

Take Everything You See With A Pinch Of Salt

It’s normal to wonder how the Insta perfect mum stays happy while she’s covered in glitter and caring for kids all day. Or how a working mum fits in all her travels, socialising and still has family time. They feel guilt too. Remember, you’re not seeing everything. What we see online is just a snippet of what really goes on in people’s lives. 

You Can’t Pour From An Empty Cup

You time is imperative to parenting. If you are fulfilled, your child will feel that and shine like a beacon. Leaving your kids to do something for you is not something to feel guilt over. It is for them because it is for you. It’s that simple. 

Give Yourself Room To Not Be ‘Perfect’

Whatever you think that ‘perfect’ is. Give yourself a break. Nothing will happen like you’d like it to all the time. Embrace the imperfection. You’re doing an incredible job!

Stand By Your Choices

Make choices based on your values, and then stand by those choices. It’s natural to wobble once you’ve made a decision, *especially if your MIL makes a snide comment. 

But if you’ve decided to do something and considered the options (about three million times). We bet it’s the best thing to do.